desires
by Judithan
Summary: What Midoriya wanted, he got. All Might made sure of that.


notes: Developing relationship fic

Note: I haven't read the manga yet and only know some spoilers from screencaps and other fics! (I'm not really much of a reader anymore, and honestly only have tolerance for anime OTL)

edit: 7/4/16 lmao i totally copy-pasted this from my ao3 because i was too damn lazy to load my google docs and didnt realize it didn't upload correctly. sorry about that!

At first it was just a passing thought, an intrusive one that he never gave the time of day. After all, he had so much more to worry about, school, the entrance exam, then the idea of secrecy, the pressure of his new quirk. Izuku wasn't one to put a challenge down, but everything seemed impossible. Everything looked and should have been impossible. But here he was, day after day, doing whatever he could to make the minimum and train for the entrance exam. He wanted, no, needed to make it.

All Might was nothing short of a terrific mentor, his regimen harsh and his schedule precise. Izuku followed his word to a T. He always would. After all, he was All Might, the man he looked up to the most, the man he cared about so dearly. So fondly. That thought again. Intrusive, quiet, but nagging at the back of his mind.

How much did he care about All Might?

The answer was always too much to bear and he abandoned the thought. Every time he looked at the older man and felt his heart beat just a little too fast. Every time he felt the man's hands on his shoulders, assuring him of his good deeds, Izuku would feel his face heat up more than it should. Every single time without fail he felt himself reacting the same way he did around the girls he had crushes on in junior high. He made notes about it in a notebook he kept under his mattress. Maybe he should have considered it a diary, but that was a bit humiliating for someone his age.

That was another thing that made this feeling so taboo - his age. All Might never openly disclosed his age, but considering his debut when Izuku was only a small child, he must have been in his mid thirties by now. There was no way this would end well.

Even then, Izuku still felt himself gravitating more and more towards his double-life mentor, almost as though unable to help the feeling.

At some point, he felt himself finally distinguish the feeling. He couldn't deny it. It was obviously he cared for All Might, just as his mentor cared for Izuku, but at some point he had to admit that it was more than that.

He had fallen for his mentor, All Might.

Of course he couldn't say anything. Not in a million years. But the days went by, day by day, and every time he saw All Might he couldn't help but feel his chest get tighter.

Eventually the entrance exam came and went, and he nearly cried himself to sleep the entire week afterwards. He felt he had lost everything, his chance at his future, his mentor wouldn't even respond to him. It felt like the world had collapsed around him. Would he have felt the same if he didn't feel the way he did about All Might? Maybe, probably, but it wasn't in him to make guesses at the what-ifs. All he could feel was his self-esteem and self-worth plummet into the abyss.

And then the letter came. He nearly burst into tears just from seeing All Might on the hologram. It felt unreal.

School started, he expected things to settle down but it only kept becoming more chaotic. There was always so much happening, but even with that, All Might still found time to mentor his successor. Izuku could only feel his heart hurting at the thought. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the image of All Might losing steam, losing his stance. The idea of people figuring out All Might's secret scared him. The idea of losing All Might kept him up at night.

He didn't want to lose the first person who saw something of worth in him.

It's a hot summer afternoon when he finally decides that he needs to say something, say anything. He can't keep doing this to himself, keeping the man so close yet so far from the truth. He has to be honest with him, with himself. Izuku was never good at keeping secrets, but he keeps them when they count. He can feel the sweat on his back and he can't tell if it's his nerves or the oppressive heat.

"All Might…" It's a start, not a good one, but it's something. His mentor doesn't think much of it and responds with a nonchalant acknowledgement.

'Just say something. Something, anything, just say it!' Izuku can hardly find the real words to say, just his brain yelling at him to just get it out.

He's standing there like a silent, nervous wreck for so long that it starts to worry All Might.

"Young Midoriya? Is something wrong?" Bony and frail, All Might still commands some kind of authority with his words and it only makes Izuku stand more on edge. How could he say this now, how could he say this at all? There was no way this would work and All Might clearly wouldn't approve - "Are you okay? You're mumbling to yourself again, is something the matter?"

"I-I like you, All Might!" An explosion of words, tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop himself. Just like his legs always move on his own, apparently his mouth does too. Too much anxiety and he just runs on autopilot, it would seem. The boy wants to choke, realizing what he just said. "I- I- I mean- I-!" He can't find the words anymore and his autopilot won't turn back on, won't fix this fuck-up, goddamnit why-?

"Young Midoriya… I'm not sure what to say."

"You can just ignore it - I didn't - I don't-" Mumbling, rambling, stumbling, his words go on and on and on, until he feels his mouth physically stopped by the physical embrace to All Might's thin chest. He feels something else - something cold. Tears. Of course he was crying again. He was always crying, every time things became too much for his small anxiety threshold to handle. All Might never seemed to mind, never told him crying was a weakness, never told him to stop his damn blubbering. All Might just told him to get back to training, being a hero meant no time for breaks.

All Might was always there for him, even now.

"It would be wrong of me to accept your feelings, but I can't exactly turn them away. You're my precious student, my successor. I'm not sure… what to do. Or what to say. How do you always manage to do that, I wonder." All Might trails off, lost in thought. He rests his chin on the top of Izuku's head, eyes closed halfway. He's the image of exhaustion.

His arms are tight around Izuku, though, almost as though he doesn't want to let go.

"Is it a crush?" All Might asks, voice level like before. It doesn't seem like he's trying to pressure an answer out of Izuku but it still puts a sense of urgency on him. Until now he never really fully had an answer to what his feelings were, he just knew they were there. Of course he would wait until now to figure that out, but he was fast on his feet usually, he could figure it out.

"It's… I think it might be more than that. It's like, everytime I'm around you I feel like I need to impress you. I feel like I need to be near you, and when I do I can't hardly think. I thought it was cuz you're my idol, but it's not… quite that. It's like how I felt when Ururaka - er, Ochako talked to me the first couple times, but that went away. This… this hasn't." He's careful with his words, thinking about each and every one before finally saying it aloud. While he talks, he hugs All Might tighter and tighter, as though it's the only thing holding him together. In all honesty, it might be, considering how he can still feel tears welling up in his eyes, his voice wavering and faltering. He hiccups over his words and his breath is heavy, unbearable in this heat.

"...Fuck…" It's one of the few times he's heard All Might genuinely swear.

Izuku took that moment to pull away for a second and look up at All Might. If he wasn't already crying he might have started tearing up at the look on All Might's face.

All Might is red-faced, eyes full with despair and turmoil. This hurts. That's all Izuku can think to himself. It hurts so much to see All Might like this. All he can think to do is pull his mentor in closer, holding him like he's never going to be able to ever again. In all honesty, he considers that as a possibility. He needs to make as much of this as he can.

"If it weren't for who I am, and who you are to me, I would accept in a heartbeat. But…" It's always more complicated than that, Izuku thinks to himself. Of course there's always that 'but' to add on that extra sting. "You're still so young, and I'm your mentor, your teacher! I've kept lifelong secrets, but I couldn't - well, I would say I couldn't do that to you, but here we are." He motions to the area around them, where he'd been training Izuku for the last few weeks. Izuku realized, he had already put the kid in such an awkward situation.

What was one more thing?

"Discuss it with your mother. I'm sure would have my head if you didn't talk to her about it." All Might breaks away from the embrace, face all kinds of complicated to read. He looks equal parts certain and torn. Regardless, he fakes the confident look as only he can, and it gives Izuku a small sense of reassurance.

"M-my mom? How do I- how am I supposed to tell her?"

"Be honest with her, and with yourself." All Might's smile was small, but made Izuku's chest tighten up nonetheless. Izuku could barely even contain himself. A smile and a step and suddenly he's running at full speed.

By the time he got home it was already sundown, his mother had finished fixing dinner. She seemed concerned and worrying as she was known to do, but nothing out of the ordinary. He knew that everything was different, however. He had to ask her about this. He had to tell her about this sudden development. There was no way this could continue without her approval, at least not that he would be comfortable with.

"Mom, there's something I need to ask you…" Startled but pleasant, she acknowledged his question with a little 'yes' and sat waiting. "How would you feel about me… having a boyfriend…?" He could physically hear himself becoming smaller with each word, his gusto falling apart by the second. Looking up at his mother, he expected the worst, expected a look of fear, or even disgust. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. Of course he got that from her.

"You have a boyfriend? Oh honey, why didn't you tell me? Who is it, have you spoke of them?" She just seemed so happy, her hands shaking as she got up to approach her kid. His mother held him so gently but so solid.

"Well, it's not… he wanted me to talk to you first… because it's a bit weird… my mentor… All Might…" That got her attention and she just looked at him as if he had grown a second head. Of course she would, how could he expect her to take that seriously. Izuku just gave a bit of a chuckle and a shrug.

"A-All Might? You can't mean- but isn't he too old for you sweetie?" She didn't seem to try to argue the point, just wondering if maybe he should reconsider. Truly his mother was too good for this world.

"Maybe, but," he just gave a slow shrug. "He's important to me, yknow?"

His mother just gave him another one of those looks of 'oh dear' and another tight hug.

"Whatever you chose, I'll be behind you 100% but if that is the case… I will need to sit him down myself for a chat." Even though the smiles and the tears Izuku could still feel the pure and undeniable fire in his mom's eyes. There was going to be a long talk between the two of them and if it went well, hopefully everything would work out. At least, that's what he told himself over and over as he paced his room that night, trying to find the words to text to his mentor.

Days went by, day after day of school, training, dangerous missions and all of the fun in between.

Eventually his mom did have the talk with All Might - Toshinori Yagi, as he introduced himself as. It was long, tense, and he wasn't allowed in the room for most of it but could overhear some of it. Some laughter, some accusations, but nothing that was unreasonable.

After that, things still didn't change much, except now when he and All Might were alone he would see the hint of a blush on his mentor's cheeks. When they would be walking place to place they would hold hands, exchange knowing looks. It wasn't for a few weeks before Midoriya got a new idea in his head - kissing. He had only ever kissed a couple girls in junior high, and even then it was never really any good, nothing more than a quick peck. But with Toshinori… he could… he had to stop that thought. That was dangerous.

But he still had to know.

"Toshinori… can I kiss you?" It's a simple question with a slurry of implications and thoughts behind it and All Might can't help but cough up blood after hearing it. Of course this would be a part of their relationship, but he still found it a shock to hear that from Young Midoriya's mouth. An exit, he needed to find a way to get them out of the public eye. He wasn't too embarrassed to hold hands in public, but kissing was a step he wasn't going to take just yet.

"N-not here."

Keeping Izuku's hand firm in his grasp, they rushed around corners and buildings of the city, looking for a vacant park, a bridge under-passage, an alleyway - goddamnit why are there so many people in this city. Midoriya doesn't really understand why All Might is dragging him around but just goes along with it, happy just to be spending time with his mentor - his boyfriend, he keeps reminding himself.

Eventually they come to a stop under a bridge, a little tucked away area away from the public eye.

'Oh, that makes sense' Izuku thinks to himself.

All Might's face is bright red, but Izuku certainly any better off either. It looks charming on the gaunt man, he decides. It makes him look a little less… well… dead.

There's a moment of uncertainty, but Midoriya finally buckles up, reaches up, and practically smacks his lips into All Might's. He clearly needs work on it, but it's not a bad first attempt. Endearing, really. Especially considering how damn short he is compared to the man.

They stay like that for a while, Izuku trying as hard as he can to not seem desperate, while Toshinori is making absolutely no effort to hide the fact that he clearly needs this. How long had it been since he had been able to do something like this - after all, being a superhero had consumed his personal life since... well since he debuted, he supposed.

Izuku shakes the thought and just focuses on the embrace he's caught up in, back against the bridge pillar, mouth being invaded by All Might's tongue. If only he could have told something like this to his former self! He can feel his breathing becoming heavy, breaking away to catch some air only when absolutely necessary, and even then, he doesn't ever want to. Every fiber in his being is pushing himself into Toshinori's embrace and he can't even deny that he wants it. Even in his frail, true form, he's still so much taller, so much more in command of the situation. Izuku can only feel himself shudder at the thought.

"T-oshinori…" Izuku groans as the man pulls down his hoodie to give small bites and kisses over his neck and collar. It's a bit juvenile what they're doing, they both know it, but that doesn't mean either of them were going to stop.

It was only when Izuku realized exactly what this was doing to the rest of his body that he tried to actually push away. To think this would happen to him over just a kiss - ha, just a kiss, who was he kidding? Here he was, pressed against the wall by All Might, granted in his true form, and being kissed breathless. What part of this wasn't supposed to work him up? It wasn't very long before Toshinori also noticed what he was mumbling about, trying to figure out some way to word it without sounding like a real idiot.

All Might wasn't dense enough to not take a hint and quickly let off, wiping Izuku's neck off and straightening both their clothes up.

This was certainly something for a first date.

... Date…

The word stuck in Izuku's mind well into the night after he had gotten dropped off. When he got through the door he actively made the effort of covering up whatever marks All Might may have left on him - when he finally got the chance to check in the bathroom he found three flush red marks across his collar. How was he going to explain that if he got asked?

High-collar shirt it was, then. If nobody sees it, nobody's going to ask.

The days continued on still, All Might giving up his own time to focus more on Midoriya's development, and somewhere in between find new and exciting ways to spoil the kid. Of course, he had promised the boys' mother not to go too far, and that was a promise he wanted to keep.

Some days, Izuku made it especially difficult on him.

Moaning his name between kisses, getting cocky when he could overpower All Might in a small struggle, the shining starlight smile he gave any time Izuku caught him staring. It was too much and not enough and good Lord he was transparent. There was no way he would make it at this pace.

Just take it day at a time, he told himself. If he can just wait until Mrs. Midoriya requested, he could give Izuku everything he ever wanted, he just…needed to… be patient. That's it. Patience.

For now the kisses and sweet embraces would have to do.


End file.
